


Daddy, can you pass the salt please?

by patrickstumpismydad



Category: Fall Out Boy
Genre: Daddy Kink, Gen, M/M, this is so dumb
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-24
Updated: 2016-03-24
Packaged: 2018-05-28 17:26:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 428
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6338437
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/patrickstumpismydad/pseuds/patrickstumpismydad
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Things get awkward at the Stumph house when Patrick asks for his daddy to pass the salt and both Mr. Stumph and Pete reach for it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Daddy, can you pass the salt please?

Pete loved having dinner at Patrick’s. His mom was really nice and made awesome food, something all 17 year old boys appreciated. His dad was funny and never made Pete feel like he didn’t belong like most of the other parents of his friends did. Patrick’s parents had always been very accepting of Pete’s sexuality, and when Patrick had announced that they were together, they had been over the moon instead of judgmental like they’d feared. 

It was like every other Wednesday. Pat had made supper and given them all a heaping portion and Pete was stuffing his face. It was all very familiar and pleasant. That is, until Patrick, sweet, innocent, little Patrick piped up and said,  
“Daddy, can you pass the salt please?”

Without even thinking about it Pete reached for the salt. He and Patrick were trying new things in bed and the Daddy thing had seemed to be something they both thoroughly enjoyed. It wasn’t until Pete’s tanned hand bumped Patrick’s father’s that a look of horror crossed all four of their faces. 

Patrick had gone as pale as snow, his eyes the size of saucers, while Patricia looked like she was on the verge of fainting right on sight. Patrick’s father raised his eyebrows at Pete and then turned toward Patrick. “Really? At the dinner table?”

“I was talking to you!! I promise that was directed at you!” Patrick stammered as his father watched him skeptically, clearly not sure whether to believe him or not. Instead he turned back to stare at Pete, clearly waiting for his explanation.

“I, uh, I…”

“Pete!” Patrick kicked him under the table. Hard.

“I watched some weird porn before I came over?”

“Pete!!” His leg is definitely going to have a bruise on it tomorrow. Patrick’s blush was as red as a tomato and his mother didn’t look much better. “You should leave.”

“I should leave,” he agreed, standing up and bolting for the door.

The next time he went to the Stumph house, Pete was ready for all sorts of scenarios. Would Patrick’s parents forbid them from seeing each other? Would they yell at him? Would they drag him to church? 

What he wasn’t expecting was for Patrick’s father to clap him on the back and say, “Keep things interesting in the bedroom. It keeps your romance young and healthy.”

“Dad!” Patrick stomped his foot, his face instantly heating up.

“What,” both Pete and Mr. Stumph asked.

“You have got to be kidding me,” Patrick fumed, stomping up the stairs as his father and boyfriend laughed.

**Author's Note:**

> This is so dumb but I thought it might be funny.


End file.
